Now, before you think I’ve made some life-changing decisions, hear me out. Have you heard of Mil Millington? I hadn’t until I stumbled upon it. That was 3 years ago I think and every now and again I go back and have a read through his website, which is HILARIOUS. No matter whether you’re single or living with someone, there’s always something you can relate to. So without further ado, please click this link and enjoy the random ravings of Mil Millington and Margret.
Here’s some examples:
I came home from work on Friday and, as I wearily opened the door into the house, Second Born, Peter, heard me entering and poked his head out of the living room.
‘Hello, Papa – I’ve missed you,’ he shouts. From within the living room Margret’s voice calls out to him ‘No you haven’t, Peter.’
Whether her cutting our son’s hair comes under ‘money-saving skill’ or ‘therapy in the making’.
The way one should cut a Kiwi Fruit in half (along its length or across the middle).
See if you can spot the difference between these two statements:
(a) “Those trousers make your backside look fat.”
(b) “You’re a repellently obese old hag upon whom I am compelled to heap insults and derision – depressingly far removed from the, ‘stupid, squeaky, pocket-sized English women,’ who make up my vast catalogue of former lovers and to whom I might as well return right now as I hate everything about you.”
Maybe the acoustics were really bad in the dining room, or something.
There is more though.